Domination Withdrawal

One of the most common fantasies that I’ve noticed is domination.  This is huge subject!  It’s not simply leather and whips, domination is so intricate and detailed that there should be sub-topics on it.  This has become a unique challenge for me, because while I can easily slip into a Dominatrix role in real life, it’s much harder to recreate that atmosphere over the phone.  Not to mention the fact that because there are so many ways to dominate your partner it’s hard to know exactly what the client is requesting.  Humiliation is a form of domination that’s very easy to do over the phone.  The client will often volunteer the names and insults they want to hear during role play, and as we all know, humiliation is almost entirely verbal.  The most difficult domination request I received was from a client that wanted to be strapped to the floor naked with several women dangling stilettos from their toes.   Up to this point it sounded pretty good even to me.  A little fetish, and little bondage… just the right mood for a good domination fantasy.  Then it got a really hard to understand what he wanted these women to do for him.  Were they supposed to tease him by dangling their shoes in his face denying him the pleasure of licking them?  Did he want to feel the spiked heels against his skin?  Was I supposed to give a detailed description of what they looked like, was he into stockings?  I tried a couple of those with no response and it wasn’t long before he hung up.  I have no idea if he was just so excited by the idea that he finished quickly or if I was completely off the mark.  This is where I have trouble with domination.  It’s such a delicate balance between partners that it’s nearly impossible to create the right atmosphere in just a few seconds.  In a real life Dominatrix/Slave scenario it can take weeks for the Domme to find out what her client is into.  And the relationship, while founded purely on physical stimulation, is very personal.  Not something easily done in five minutes or less.  I have no doubt that there are women who can perform the domination role with no problems over the phone.  I am just not one of them, at least not when it comes to hard core domination.  Maybe I’m just too nice.  Although I seem to do wonderfully well with homosexual, transvestite and cross dressing clients.  But that’s another blog all of it’s own.  I will admit that any suggestions on this topic are more than welcome.  I just can’t leave it alone, must be the perfectionist in me.

Published in: on October 20, 2006 at 9:48 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. hey, just a note to say i really like your blog, and i wondered if you’d be interested in picking up a little traffic from my site as well. what i had in mind is an article about how to become a phone sex actress and what girls need to know about it, which you could post on my blog and then you could write a “check out my blog” comment and send traffic your way. it would help me out because i’d have more context on my site, and it would help you get your blog seen by more people. i just started my blog… also if you do take a look at it and want to leave me any advice or comments, i’d love to hear what you thought. thank you so much… keep up the awesome writing!
    love – autumn

  2. I agree with you completely about it being difficult over the phone to know exactly what they are wanting. I tell them in the very beginning that I am more than willing to help with their fantasies in any way possible but to truly get the experience and pleasure they are wanting, they might want try another girl. I actually had one guy thank me for being honest about it and not wasting his time. In-person domination is so much easier for me than over the phone. Not to mention in-person it is my husband, so I already know what he likes.

  3. Thanks for the post. I appreciate your feedback. I’ve taken the same approach. Only, I can’t recomend another girl they can talk to. Usually I tell them I’m not an experienced Domme and give them the option of talking me through their fantasy. I’ve had some great results! I had clients tell me they couldn’t believe I wasn’t a Domme they were so happy with the fantasy and I’ve had others hang up within 30 seconds. This one seems to be a toss as to whether you can keep the client or not. Still haven’t mastered it, but I’m working on it.

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