The Slut Factor

As long as I choose to be a PSO I will never be able to shake the stigma that is attached.  I have decided not to tell any of my friends or family what I do, more for their benefit than mine.  This has been a little difficult as I recently left my day job and now work the lines exclusively.  Which begs the question: why the secrecy?  Well, unless you either work in the adult entertainment industry or you appreciate its myriad of forms there is stigma against it that hangs over our society.  It has been a long held belief that sex is bad.  We were taught this as children and young adults.  We were taught to fear our own sexuality and therefore shun our bodies.  Yet we can’t escape our urges, just look at the main stream magazines that tout ways to improve the body, dress better, make the most of makeup tips.  All of these things have one aim – to attract a mate.  But it is the stripper I think that takes the brunt of the negative stigma that surrounds the adult industry.  And I’ve gotta say, I think that is totally unfair.  Several of my close friends are or have been strippers and they are the nicest most down to earth girls you could imagine.  But I’m getting off topic.  I’ve noticed several web sites where women (usually moms) are trying to find a way to make money from home and more than a few are questioning the validity of being a phone sex operator.  Without fail these women who are looking for a legal and decent way to be available for their families while making ends meet are put down and demonized.  I’m not going to get into a pissing match here about religion, because that’s not usually the catalyst behind the insults.  It’s the slut factor associated with the adult industry that usually prompts the catty responses.  If you’ve read my first blog or checked out my profile, you know that I’m a mother myself.  While I try to be the best mom I can, I also have to face the reality that likes to bite me in the ass every month – I have to pay my bills.  I don’t expose my kids to my job, they have no idea what I do at night after they are snug in their beds.  And I’m here when they need me.  So does that make me a bad mom?  Some might say yes, but then I would have to ask why?  I’m not scared of my sexuality and while I may engage in verbal fantasies where I do in fact claim to be a slut, that doesn’t actually make me one.  I provide a service for my clients.  I banish loneliness and inflate egos.  I have talked to clients that crave anonymity while they explore their fetishes and new found sexual needs and wants.  I provide something a stripper, porn star or nude model can’t.  An intimate human connection without attachment.   This sounds all nice and warm and fuzzy now, but don’t get me wrong, many of my clients have put me down for what I do.  The irony of coarse is that they are paying me to do it.  And I have had just as many clients truly appreciate my services complimenting me on my performance.  There is nothing more satisfying than to have a client tell me how incredibly sexy my voice is and thank me profusely for entertaining their fantasies.  So if there are so many good things about the adult industry, why the slut factor?  I think it has more to do with the women who are not included and feel threatened.  Women should be appreciated for what they truly are; the creator of life.  And all too often they are not.  Instead men in our society seek only the most ideal forms of femininity as put forth by glaring advertisements and Hollywood.  It’s not their fault, it’s what they have seen all their lives and respond to.  So is it any wonder that more than a few women feel threatened by the adult industry and pass the same bigotry to their daughters perpetuating a negative cycle and fear of sexuality?  I should know, I was one of them.  I thought that watching porn made you ‘dirty’ and wanting to enjoy sex was bad.  But like most women I entered my twenties with raging hormones and a zest for life.  Soon my inhibitions fell away and I reveled in the bloom of my youth and the power I had over the opposite sex.  A heady mix that easily matches the intoxication of alcohol.  However, unlike most women I did not settle into marriage and decide to put my sexuality in the closet after having children.  Oh, I did for a while, but when I became a PSO the layers I hid under soon started to peel away to show me that I could be a good wife and mother and still be a sexual being.  I can truly say that I enjoy who I am and am grateful to be able explore being a woman in all it’s forms both in my work and my personal life.  And I have no regrets for the choices I have made.  As far as the slut factor goes, as with most things ignorance breeds prejudice.  It’s a shame that women should be made to feel they are less for their sexuality.  We have struggled long and hard for equality and there rarely seems to be a balance that both sides can agree on.  A feminist is viewed as a cold bitch or you’ve got the Betty Crockers.  What’s wrong with being both?  Men have for decades ruled in board rooms and in the bedroom.  Why can’t we?  We are all sexual beings, without it there wouldn’t be a human race.  Of coarse there are women who match both descriptions, but there are more that fall somewhere in the middle; myself included.  I don’t think a woman should be put down for her choice of work.  Nor do I think a woman should feel guilty about choosing between staying home to raise her children or leave them  to work.  My job allows me to do both.  It’s not a career, far from it, but I get the best of both worlds.  I stopped trying to portray the most perfect picture I could of what a wife and mother should be.  First of all it gave me nothing but migraines to try and second, it’s a myth.  Leave perfection to give someone else a headache, I prefer to concentrate on what’s best for my family and what makes me happy.  If that makes me a slut, well then slap a scarlet letter on me and I’ll be proud to wear it!

Published in: on March 12, 2007 at 11:58 pm  Comments (2)