Last night I had some great clients! But one really topped the charts. He originally called and asked if I was a brat. I’ve had these kind of clients before and they usually want a fantasy with financial domination. Not hard to do, but it can exhaust the imagination. After I assured him I was he asked if he could call me a slut or whore. I’ve talked about this before, I really hate being called degrading names! Somehow I managed to dissuade him and from there the fantasy took off. I would demand something expensive in return for sexual favors and somehow it evolved into a Trophy Wife fantasy. It really was a lot of fun. I didn’t personally get turned on, but he did and I was having a blast fantasizing with him. The more outrageous and expensive my requests, from bracelets to cars to a villa in Italy, the more turned on he became. And after 40 minutes I had a very satisfied and happy client. I love calls like that, it makes my job fun and easy. I was lucky enough to get two more calls last night that left me feeling better about my job than I had in weeks. One resulted in a job offer to bartend for a weekend for $1,000.00. That particular client was entertained for over 30 minutes and no sex entered the conversation. Naturally, I can’t take any job offers or meet with clients, nor would I. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered. My second caller was extremely polite, fun and entertaining. This time sex did not enter the conversation until the last five minutes. These calls only go to show that most of the men who call are bored, lonely and yes, sometimes horny. They can be fun too! Not a bad night’s work.
I was watching a movie a few weeks ago that had a great line. “Can a girl fall down a rabbit hole and emerge unchanged?” We’ve all taken our tumbles down rabbit holes, and we all know the answer. No, you can’t. This has been a journey for me with more twists and turns than I could have imagined. The end is not yet in sight, but I thought it would be a good idea to take a look at what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed. Through my blog I’ve given a glimpse of what it’s like to be a Phone Actress. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible, but I have shied away from what happens to the Phone Actress herself. Before I started this job I was pretty much like everyone else. I went to my 9 to 5 job Monday thru Friday filling my weekends with playdates, birthday parties and the occasional girl’s night out. I had hopes and dreams for my future that slowly started to fade away as I realized I was already living my future. I didn’t become a Phone Actress because I thought I could do something special with it, I started because I had to pay bills and I wanted a little extra income. It just morphed into something special on it’s own. I found that I still had opinions and that I deserved more than a lame job that wasn’t going anywhere. Running parallel to my own personal discoveries, I was also exploring the myriad forms of sex and pleasure. Compared to what I know now, I was pretty innocent before, and boring. I’ve become more self-confident and independent. And as many of my friends have pointed out, sexier. Suddenly I see men in a totally different light. And like those damn fluorescent lights in dressing rooms, it’s not the greatest. As a woman I saw plenty of other women with that gleam in their eye or small smile that seemed to taunt and say ‘I know a secret’. Suddenly, I have it too. I wouldn’t have found it if I didn’t take that leap down the rabbit hole. Having sexual confidence is something I never thought I could master, but this job taught me how. As with any job, you take something away with you into your everyday life, and this is no different. Knowing what to say and how to say it was always a challenge. I didn’t have the confidence in myself to talk sexy and not sound like an idiot. Being a PSO forced that out of me. Learning what men desire has also been a huge plus for me as well. While no two men are alike, most want the same thing. And knowing what they want, how to tease and play with it…well, let’s just say it’s a real confidence booster. I’ve also learned that women deserve more respect than they get. This is the most difficult part of my job. Hearing a man put me down and call me sexually degrading names is hard to stomach. I’ve gotten plenty of clients who are kind and considerate. I’ve even had clients that just want to talk. When I get a client that just wants to call me a sl-t or a b–ch, I cringe. I can’t help it. It didn’t bother me too much at first, but as time passed I began to realize that this was how some men actually thought women should be treated. My natural reaction was to get angry. What right did these men have to put me down?!? All the right in the world because they were paying for it. I had to change my perception of these clients and just tune out what they were really saying. Not an easy thing to do when you have to listen to the fantasy and participate. I was able to change my attitude enough to realize that these men actually had to pay someone to listen to them be, well, assholes. Something to think about. I’m still falling down this rabbit hole, but when I emerge, I’ll have one hell of a story to tell.
I’m feeling a bit snappish today, so this post may seem bitchy to some. That’s because it is.
There seem to be no end of parodies and articles that stomp all over Phone Sex Operator’s. I’m going to attempt to counter some of the stigmas that PSO’s are labeled with. Please keep in mind, I’m only one person, I can only answer for myself.
1. All Phone Actresses are dumb: Um, no. I love to read, write, listen to an eclectic array of music and I enjoy art, both contemporary and classical. I have an interest in ancient and Medieval history. I would love to travel the world, but for now I’m working on discovering my own country. Since I spent about 78% of my paycheck on daycare when I was working a desk job, it didn’t make sense to continue if I could stay home with my kids. Now that was dumb!
2. All Phone Sex Workers are Whores/Sluts/Prostitutes...: Really?!? Someone should warn my husband! While working, I’ve been called many things, but I’m only acting. This seems to escape everyone’s attention. It seems that phone actresses are put down to make the author/creator feel better about themselves. Why would they do that? My guess is that for whatever reason they are either ashamed or pissed about their experience with the phone sex industry. Fine, that’s their own cross to bare. So I guess Julia Roberts really is a prostitute because she portrayed one in a movie once. Someone should really tell her.
3. Phone Sex is Rip Off: Maybe, but as long as there is a demand, there will always be a supply. And any advertising executive could tell you; sex sells. Besides, if my clients enjoy it, what’s the problem?
4. Phone Sex Operators Have No Morals: Again, I can only speak for myself. I do a job, plain and simple. Besides my job I raise two wonderful children, I am member of my church, I donate to my local fire and police departments. I have volunteered at a local women’s shelter and soup kitchen. I have donated food, time, money, clothes, toys, my hair (for children with cancer) and household goods to several charities. I support the Wildlife Federation, my local ASPCA, Make a Wish Foundation, Locks of Love and Walk for Life. I bake brownies, socialize with my friends and neighbors, get along well with my in-laws and am happily (and faithfully) married. I teach my children manners (something many parents have forgotten), perseverance, self respect and confidence. We have a family game night and the television is rarely on (I’m not even sure why I’m paying for cable). I believe the most important thing I can pass on to my children is an education. I encourage them to read and learn whatever their hearts desire. I’m not perfect and neither is my family. But morals? I have those, thanks.
5. Being a Phone Sex Operator is Disgusting: I pulled this one from an article I read at this link: http://www.xomba.com/adult_phone_actress_is_now_on_my_resume. Oddly enough, there was another article by the same author on a different website that read almost exactly the same. You can read that one by following this link: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/129320/the_reality_of_being_an_adult_phone.html In both articles the author had three days worth of experience, received -if she can be believed- the most outrageous caller and never spoke to another PSO. Wow, now that’s some reliable research! In both articles the author claimed to feel disgusting after doing this job. But my favorite was when she claimed that it is not an “easily tolerable … job if you have any self respect.” I’ve just got to get this out – what a bitch! Personally, I think cleaning other people’s bathrooms is disgusting and I could never be a house-cleaner. Maybe I should write an article bashing house-cleaners because I don’t like it even though I know nothing about the job. I’m sure I’m qualified though, because I clean my own house.
Bottom line: If you have any qualms about being a Phone Actress/Actor – don’t do it. If the thought of paying $2.99+ a minute makes you queasy, don’t call. Any other problems – deal with it, you’ll survive.