Getting Back on That Horse

Quick note: If you’ve been following my blog you may not have been able to gain access because it was suspended.  There was a mistake with administration and I’m obviously back up and running.  Nothing has been deleted or modified so feel free to read any and all posts you didn’t get a chance to before.

In my last post I said my family had gotten a new puppy.  Since she arrived I have worked a total of maybe two days in the last three weeks.  Yikes!  Amazingly, my contract is still good, but I’m having a hard time getting back to work.  Part of the reason I’m writing this is because, well, without taking new calls it’s hard to find new material.  The other reason, I’m tired and getting back to work is tough.  And I’m guessing I’m not alone in facing this dilemma.  Getting up at 6am with my kids and puppy and staying up until 3am taking calls is enough to wear anyone down, if it doesn’t kill them first.  But I’m not going to bore you with my mundane family life.  I’m trying to find the energy and will to get back up on that proverbial horse.  This isn’t simply a cold that knocked me on my ass or a reluctance to keep taking clients.  Life has just gone completely topsy-turvy and I can’t seem to find my footing.  Anyone with more willpower than myself wouldn’t have a hard time with this.  But I can’t speak for anyone else, and I’m not that perfect.  If I was, my husband might keel over from the shock alone!  Nope, I just can’t seem to cope with the changes.  Now I just need to figure out how to deal with it anyway.  I can’t nor do I want to stop working as a PSO.  I could easily use this as an excuse to get out of a job that wears down even the strongest, but I happen to like my job.  Gasp!  Yes, with all the degrading names, sick sexual perversions and erotic fantasies that would make even Larry Flynt squirm I still like what I do.  If you are a PSO who is dealing with a personal crisis right now (and that can be anything) but still want to get back to work this is for you.  For PSO’s who either can’t or don’t want to work anymore, well, there’s nothing wrong with that either.  Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you planned.  Okay, back on track here…  So how do you get back on that horse after getting thrown off?  Start small.  Get yourself back in the groove first.  It’s hard to go back to taking calls when you yourself probably haven’t even thought of sex in a while.  Purchase a porn magazine, watch a porn movie, scour the internet.  Start those naughty thoughts flowing again.  I usually do this on a weekly basis when I am on track just to keep my calls fresh.  It’s easy to lose that sexy edge when you haven’t used it in a while.  Next, don’t kill yourself trying to make up for lost time.  Give yourself permission to just let it go.  You may be tempted to force yourself to log in for three hours in one night, but your only going to lower the quality of your calls and frustrate yourself.  Believe me, I’ve done it more than once and pissed off more than a few clients.  Start by logging in for a half hour at a time.  If your calls are going well and your enjoying it, log in for another half hour.  You might find that you get tired more quickly and lose your patience easily if you force yourself.  When you start again after a temporary hiatus you’ll be surprised that you don’t have the same gumption that you did when you first started this job.  Of coarse, when you first started this job, you probably didn’t know what you were getting into and the novelty was keeping it fresh.  If you work for a good company, they’ll be forgiving and let you work at your own pace.  If they don’t, you need a new company.  Slowly work yourself up to your previous ability.  You might get back up and running quickly, or it may take a few weeks.  Either way, it’s okay.  This isn’t an easy job mentally and if you push too hard your going to resent the job and yourself.  If you get a bad call on your first night back, LET IT GO!  It’s nothing personal against you.  It takes a while to get back in the swing of things and it’s not unusual to lose your touch.  Eventually you’ll be back to normal and when those checks start rolling in you’ll feel a lot better and more confident.  Even the roughest toughest cowboys feel a sting when they get thrown off their saddles, that’s what makes it so hard to get back on.  Just for the record I’ve been thrown off a real horse, it’s a painful and scary experience.  But once you get back on and master it again, it’s so worth it!  So keep at it, you’ll do great, I promise.

Published in: on May 24, 2007 at 9:43 pm  Comments (2)  

Come Fantasize With Me

Last night I had some great clients!  But one really topped the charts.  He originally called and asked if I was a brat.  I’ve had these kind of clients before and they usually want a fantasy with financial domination.  Not hard to do, but it can exhaust the imagination.  After I assured him I was he asked if he could call me a slut or whore.  I’ve talked about this before, I really hate being called degrading names!  Somehow I managed to dissuade him and from there the fantasy took off.  I would demand something expensive in return for sexual favors and somehow it evolved into a Trophy Wife fantasy.  It really was a lot of fun.  I didn’t personally get turned on, but he did and I was having a blast fantasizing with him.  The more outrageous and expensive my requests, from bracelets to cars to a villa in Italy, the more turned on he became.  And after 40 minutes I had a very satisfied and happy client.  I love calls like that, it makes my job fun and easy.  I was lucky enough to get two more calls last night that left me feeling better about my job than I had in weeks.  One resulted in a job offer to bartend for a weekend for $1,000.00.  That particular client was entertained for over 30 minutes and no sex entered the conversation.  Naturally, I can’t take any job offers or meet with clients, nor would I.  However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered.  My second caller was extremely polite, fun and entertaining.  This time sex did not enter the conversation until the last five minutes.  These calls only go to show that most of the men who call are bored, lonely and yes, sometimes horny.  They can be fun too!  Not a bad night’s work.

Published in: on April 21, 2007 at 4:14 am  Comments (9)  

Shaking a Stigma

I’m feeling a bit snappish today, so this post may seem bitchy to some.  That’s because it is.

There seem to be no end of parodies and articles that stomp all over Phone Sex Operator’s.  I’m going to attempt to counter some of the stigmas that PSO’s are labeled with.  Please keep in mind, I’m only one person, I can only answer for myself.

1. All Phone Actresses are dumb:   Um, no.  I love to read, write, listen to an eclectic array of music and I enjoy art, both contemporary and classical.  I have an interest in ancient and Medieval history.  I would love to travel the world, but for now I’m working on discovering my own country.  Since I spent about 78% of my paycheck on daycare when I was working a desk job, it didn’t make sense to continue if I could stay home with my kids.  Now that was dumb!

2. All Phone Sex Workers are Whores/Sluts/Prostitutes...:   Really?!?  Someone should warn my husband!  While working, I’ve been called many things, but I’m only acting.  This seems to escape everyone’s attention.  It seems that phone actresses are put down to make the author/creator feel better about themselves.  Why would they do that?  My guess is that for whatever reason they are either ashamed or pissed about their experience with the phone sex industry.  Fine, that’s their own cross to bare.  So I guess Julia Roberts really is a prostitute because she portrayed one in a movie once.  Someone should really tell her.

3. Phone Sex is Rip Off:   Maybe, but as long as there is a demand, there will always be a supply.  And any advertising executive could tell you; sex sells.  Besides, if my clients enjoy it, what’s the problem? 

4. Phone Sex Operators Have No Morals:  Again, I can only speak for myself.  I do a job, plain and simple.  Besides my job I raise two wonderful children, I am member of my church, I donate to my local fire and police departments.  I have volunteered at a local women’s shelter and soup kitchen.  I have donated food, time, money, clothes, toys, my hair (for children with cancer) and household goods to several charities.  I support the Wildlife Federation, my local ASPCA, Make a Wish Foundation, Locks of Love and Walk for Life.  I bake brownies, socialize with my friends and neighbors, get along well with my in-laws and am happily (and faithfully) married.  I teach my children manners (something many parents have forgotten), perseverance, self respect and confidence.  We have a family game night and the television is rarely on (I’m not even sure why I’m paying for cable).  I believe the most important thing I can pass on to my children is an education.  I encourage them to read and learn whatever their hearts desire.  I’m not perfect and neither is my family.  But morals?  I have those, thanks.

 5. Being a Phone Sex Operator is Disgusting:  I pulled this one from an article I read at this link:  Oddly enough, there was another article by the same author on a different website that read almost exactly the same.  You can read that one by following this link:  In both articles the author had three days worth of experience, received -if she can be believed- the most outrageous caller and never spoke to another PSO.  Wow, now that’s some reliable research!  In both articles the author claimed to feel disgusting after doing this job.  But my favorite was when she claimed that it is not an “easily tolerable … job if you have any self respect.”  I’ve just got to get this out – what a bitch!  Personally, I think cleaning other people’s bathrooms is disgusting and I could never be a house-cleaner.  Maybe I should write an article bashing house-cleaners because I don’t like it even though I know nothing about the job.  I’m sure I’m qualified though, because I clean my own house.

Bottom line: If you have any qualms about being a Phone Actress/Actor – don’t do it.  If the thought of paying $2.99+ a minute makes you queasy, don’t call.  Any other problems – deal with it, you’ll survive.

Published in: on April 4, 2007 at 2:59 am  Comments (6)  

Sunny Side Up

In my last post I focused on the down side of being a phone sex operator.  That wasn’t really my intention, but as usual, my rants seem to find some sort of focus.  Never fails to amaze me.  There is a lighter side to this job, it’s not all bad.  If it was, I wouldn’t do it.  For one thing, there is very little to no stress involved.  Except when it comes to money, but that stresses everybody so that’s null n’ void here.  Setting my own hours has been a huge plus for me.  I have a life and I don’t like being at the the beck and call of a boss.  Then again, who does?  I also have kids and I like being home for them.  So if they get sick or have a day off from school I’m not using up vacation days and making requests to some asshole who doesn’t care that I have a family.  Wow!  I gotta tell you, that last sentence is very empowering.  I don’t have an asshole for a boss!  I think I’m feeling a natural high right now.  See I told you – no stress.  While the money I make is not great, it is easy.  It doesn’t take a genius to moan into the phone and tell a client how much you want to be banged by them.  At the same time it is challenging, and definitely not boring.  No two days are alike and no two clients are alike.  I personally hated doing the same job every day with absolutely no change in my routine what-so-ever.  Besides, getting that much needed kudos was nearly impossible.  No, it was impossible, that was why I quit.  I found more satisfaction in turning my clients on sexually.  There is your ego to consider.  While not all clients are respectful, or even decent, there are many who succumb to the charms of a sexually confident woman.  More often than not, I find my clients are thanking me for my services or telling me how incredible their orgasms were.  You can really hear the gratitude in their voices, and then you know it was a job well done.  There is no end to the creativity involved with this job.  From the more mundane issues of any job – trying to make more money – to using your imagination to create a fantasy.  I once read an article that said the most common male fantasy was the “Naughty Nurse”.  I’ve never once received a request for a nurse.  Besides, where would the challenge be?  I have to admit, that the most common request I get is to describe blow-jobs.  This isn’t really surprising if you think about it.  I’ve also learned that phone sex is not limited to the lonely male population either.  I have gotten calls from lesbians, gay men, transsexuals, couples and men on three-way.  There is nothing safer than phone sex to explore your most lurid fantasies without causing any undo damage to yourself or your relationship (assuming you have one).  Couples who want to explore including a third person in their sex, but aren’t really comfortable making it a reality, can use a PSO to make their fantasy much more realistic and satisfying.  And there is absolutely no judgement or messy emotional issues to deal with.  Once they hang up, they are back in their cozy and safe world knowing that they can add a kinky spark when they choose to.  Helping people explore their sexuality is also very satisfying.  I am not a professional equipped to handle the psychological impact of a sexual identity crisis, and I make that very clear to my clients.  But I am an open minded individual that won’t make a client feel guilty for exploring new avenues of their sexuality.  The most profound thing I’ve learned so far is how limited my own views on sex was before I became a PSO.  I no longer view porn as the enemy and I have a healthier outlook on my own sexuality.  I used to feel so threatened and angry if my husband used porn as an outlet for his release.  It took me a long time to learn that it only gives him a little variety and is not used to judge me against the perfect hard-bodies portrayed.  This job has also brought us a lot closer.   And rather than turn away disgusted when he would watch a porn, we now watch them together and find that sex has become more fun because of it.  We also talk openly about things we never would have before, from infidelity to hidden fantasies.  I never talked about my personal fantasies before, I thought it was wrong or would make him angry.  Boy was I wrong!  A lot of women seem to think that if a man is calling a phone sex line he must be unfaithful.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In my last post I said that I have received offers from clients that get too attached.  What I didn’t tell you was that every single one of those clients was not only unattached, but haven’t been able to find the partner they are desperately seeking.  Half of my clients are single, but just as many have girlfriends or wives who are not available.  Whether they are away on business, out for the night or simply sleeping, these men miss their partners.  I can’t begin to count how many times these men have described their partners to me and said how much they love and adore them.  But they’re horny and they can’t seem to get the satisfaction they crave.  So what do they do, they call me to talk about their wives!  More often than not I don’t have to say much.  The client just starts talking about their partner and soon he’s got a great fantasy to make his night.  There was another side to phone sex I never would have considered, I perform a civic duty.  With the war in Iraq, I have been getting many soldiers either just returning home or getting ready to leave.  They all have one thing in common, they want to get their mind off of it, even if it’s just for a few minutes.  I don’t want to know what they’re thinking about or what they’ve seen and they don’t want to talk about it.  CNN and numerous blogs answer any questions I might have in that regard.  They, like every other client, are seeking an escape from reality into a fantasy world where stress is left behind and sexual pleasure is the only concern.  It doesn’t hurt that I have a thing for men in uniforms either.  I talk to many people from many walks of life all over the country and they all want one thing, sexual satisfaction.  And I get to provide it on my own terms.  If I’m not comfortable with a particular fantasy or don’t know how a client wants me to perform a particular fetish, I just tell them.  That’s my right.  I may not be able to hang up on them, and there have been times I’ve wanted to, but I can set limits.  You want me to be the sexy babysitter?  Can do.  You want me to be sixteen?  Sorry Pal, not happening!  The power I get to exert is exhilarating and I’m only limited by my imagination.  Maybe it’s not the perfect job, but I could do worse, and I have.  Just like there are good days and there are bad; there is an upside and a down.  I hope I’ve illustrated them well.  Like I said, I’m not here to lure clients.  I’m here to tell it like it is.  You don’t like it – not my problem.  Was that harsh?  Maybe, but that’s the beauty of the blog.

Published in: on March 30, 2007 at 2:16 am  Comments (2)  

The Dark Side of Phone Sex

You know, ever since I stared working the phone sex lines everyone who knows about my job is intrigued by the taboo nature of my work.  There seems to be a mix of morbid fascination and sexual intrigue.  I’ve noticed there are a lot of books about the subject and very few seem to cover what everyone wants to know.  Who are the women on the other end of the line?  This is a tough question to answer.  It’s like asking ‘who is the average American?’  Really?!?!  Is it Bob, the mechanic trying to pay child support for three kids?  What about Maria, the Latin immigrant who wants to be a teacher?  Or maybe it’s John, the middle manager trying to save up for both college and a dream vacation with his wife of fifteen years.  You see; there is no such thing as the average American.  And there is no such thing as the average phone sex operator.  She could be a nineteen-year-old college student trying to earn some extra money.  A thirty-something stay-at-home mom trying to make ends meet.  Or he could be a twenty-something man trying to pay off debt.  Yes, there are male phone sex operators.  Or anything in between.  I can only speak for myself, and I don’t mind telling you that finding another experienced phone sex operator to trade notes with is like trying to find that one needle, only in about a hundred hay stacks.  The other problem is, no one really wants to hear about the nitty gritty of the industry.  It’s sex, and sex sells.  But everyone’s idea of sex is different.  Except for the pure physiology of putting object A into slot B (and that’s open to interpretation) there is really a lot that goes into sex.  And the intrigue is phenomenal.  The mystery surrounding phone sex amuses me really.  I mean, on the surface it’s very simple; a client calls to get off and the operator assists.  The reality is, it’s a messy business.  We’re humans, and as such we have emotions and emotions are messy.  It really is an art form to perform for clients and not create some kind of emotional attachment.  I have had clients that are so enamoured by my characters that they often ask to meet me.  I have been offered marriage, money, plane tickets, jewelry, shopping sprees and just about anything else you can imagine.  I’m not telling you this to toot my own horn, this is a reality.  It sounds great, right?  What woman doesn’t want to be offered these things?  Every time I talk to a client that enjoys my services too much, I feel guilty.  I shouldn’t, I mean they [should] know it’s a fantasy and they’re paying for that.  I don’t mind telling you that if I was single I may have been tempted enough to take a few of those offers.  And I have no doubt that there may have been phone sex operators who have.  A lot of people think that being a phone sex operator is a lucrative job, it’s not.  The pay sucks.  The average PSO only sees about 5-7% of the profit made on a call that costs $3.99/minute.  I once read an article that claimed the average PSO made $2000 per week!  Ironically, there was no evidence offered to back up that claim.  And by my calculations, a top performing PSO would have to take over 6500 minutes worth of talk time to make that kind of money, they would have to be talking almost 24 hours, a day seven days a week.  Not very realistic, is it?  However, if I could make that kind of money doing what I do, you can be damn sure I’d have found it by now and there would be a lot more phone sex operators.  What a phone actress/actor gets paid for is just that, to act.  You’re not getting the real deal.  We are exposed to the underbelly of sexual desires, and it’s not pretty.  It’s really hard to maintain a healthy outlook on sex while doing this job.  As a woman, I found myself becoming jaded and angry at men in general.  My husband bore the brunt of this.  I came to believe that men are hedonistic animals with no regard for women; treating them more like chattel than humans beings.  For a long time I was bitter and frigid to my husband thinking that when it comes to sex, all men are alike.  Only treating women with some degree of respect to get in their pants.  It felt like it took forever before I could realize that the act of sex itself is very animalistic, but that doesn’t mean it’s demeaning.  Yes, there are men who are sexual predators, seeking women for one-night stands.  On the flip side, there are just as many men, sometimes the very same predators, who want the companionship and trust of a meaningful relationship.  The havoc this job has played on me psychologically is astounding.  It’s not very surprising that the average PSO only lasts a few months.  I started this blog to tell women, like me, who are considering this line of work what this job is really like.  I am not here to romanticize the sex industry, there are more than enough web sites that do that.  I’m not doing this to lure clients, hell, I don’t even know what number my clients call to talk to me!  I have no idea what it’s like to be an exotic dancer, a porn-star or an escort, I’m a phone actress aka phone sex operator, and I write what I know.  In this post I’ve highlighted the downside of this job.  I know it appears to be a dark picture, but it’s real.  I’ve decided to make this a two-parter.  In my next post I’ll tell you about the upside, after all, there are two sides to every story, and this is no different.

Published in: on March 29, 2007 at 2:25 pm  Comments (97)  

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby…

One of the most daunting tasks of my job is trying to provide a fantasy for my clients.  I usually get an idea of what they’re into depending on what Whisper Tag I get before a call is put through.  Some of you may have heard of these, some companies provide them, some don’t.  Although I have found that these tags can be very misleading.  I once received a tag for Domination, when what the client really wanted was a Virgin.  That was fun trying to scramble to accommodate!  I was all set to describe a whipping/paddling session answering the call with my most sexy and demanding voice and the first question the client asked was, “So, are you still a virgin?”  It was a good thing I didn’t say I was a Mistress!  That happens sometimes, you lose a client because you got the wrong tag line, but for the most part the most common Whisper Tag is Female Fantasy.  And this is a catch-all for everything.  My most common approach is to feel the client out.  Sometimes they want to get right to it asking if I’m a dirty little slut or something like that.  In which case I spend most of the call screaming and moaning into the phone saying whatever the client demands.  I often end those calls wishing I had an oxygen tank!  Usually I have clients that don’t really know what they want.  They’re horny, that’s the only given, or they wouldn’t have called in the first place.  I have gotten more than a few clients claim they’ve never called a phone sex line before and leave everything up to you.  This is where some serious acting comes into play.  As I said before I feel a client out for what they’re in to.  I ask what they are wearing, what they would do if I was there with them, what’s the most unusual place they would want to have sex.  Once you warm up the conversation with sexy, but not over-the-top questions they give you a clue.  Here’s another little trick I didn’t know about when I first started, I assumed most of my clients were “up and running” so to speak.  I quickly learned that some of them like me to get their engine going.  I accomplish this by telling the client what I look like, what I’m wearing, my favorite position or anything else they might ask me.  Of coarse, I’m not being interviewed, so there’s a lot of flirting and giggling going on.  It only takes a few minutes before things start to get good and heavy.  And then you just have to decide what you’re the most comfortable with.  Do you want to describe a blow-job?  If that’s your niche make sure you know what you’re talking about!  Do you want to ride him like a cowgirl, you should know that there is in fact a position known as the Cowgirl and how to do it.  I once read an article about a very successful phone actress who went on to start her own phone sex company.  When asked how she kept her clients, she referred to using everyday situations to build a fantasy on.  I tried that approach a couple of times and fell flat on my face!  Maybe you’ll have more luck than I did, in which case I want to know what you did!  For the most part I think that sticking with what you know is the best way to keep a client.  I use real situations I have been through to describe fantasies and so far, have had the best result with those.  My other source of inspiration?  The porn industry is suddenly mybest friend.  I have a collection of magazines and movies that makes even my husband jealous.  Most recently I’ve been using the world wide web for inspiration.  I use it mostly for fetishes that I’m not familiar with such as domination or TVTS clients.  Since I’m not really a “chick with a dick” this has been the most helpful.  Once you get the client involved in a fantasy you find yourself in a groove and then it’s a piece of cake from there.  

Published in: on March 23, 2007 at 2:29 am  Comments (2)  

Curiouser and Curiouser

WARNING: Some of the content in this post may not be suitable for those with weak stomachs.

After doing this for six months I thought I had heard it all.  I should know better.  I’ve received some unusual requests but these two take the cake.  A few nights ago I had a client that seemed really nice, but I was in for a shock when he told me about his fetish.  Apparently his girlfriend likes to put safety pins through his member.  For those of you that ignored my warning… I told you so!  I’ll spare you the details, needless to say I spent most of that call trying to sound sexy while fighting my gag reflex.  On the flip side, the most amusing request I’ve gotten was the client who asked me to sing the Star Spangled Banner.  Okay, there comes a point where you just can’t keep a straight face, and this was it.  I’ve giggle coyly for clients and flirted, but this really tested my limits.  Needless to say I made it half way through before the client was satisfied and hung up.  Once I heard the tone telling me he had disconnected I couldn’t stop laughing.  I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks.  Every night it’s something new.  One thing I can say about this job; it never gets boring.  This is going to be a short post because… well, how do you follow something like that?!?!

Published in: on March 21, 2007 at 12:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Slut Factor

As long as I choose to be a PSO I will never be able to shake the stigma that is attached.  I have decided not to tell any of my friends or family what I do, more for their benefit than mine.  This has been a little difficult as I recently left my day job and now work the lines exclusively.  Which begs the question: why the secrecy?  Well, unless you either work in the adult entertainment industry or you appreciate its myriad of forms there is stigma against it that hangs over our society.  It has been a long held belief that sex is bad.  We were taught this as children and young adults.  We were taught to fear our own sexuality and therefore shun our bodies.  Yet we can’t escape our urges, just look at the main stream magazines that tout ways to improve the body, dress better, make the most of makeup tips.  All of these things have one aim – to attract a mate.  But it is the stripper I think that takes the brunt of the negative stigma that surrounds the adult industry.  And I’ve gotta say, I think that is totally unfair.  Several of my close friends are or have been strippers and they are the nicest most down to earth girls you could imagine.  But I’m getting off topic.  I’ve noticed several web sites where women (usually moms) are trying to find a way to make money from home and more than a few are questioning the validity of being a phone sex operator.  Without fail these women who are looking for a legal and decent way to be available for their families while making ends meet are put down and demonized.  I’m not going to get into a pissing match here about religion, because that’s not usually the catalyst behind the insults.  It’s the slut factor associated with the adult industry that usually prompts the catty responses.  If you’ve read my first blog or checked out my profile, you know that I’m a mother myself.  While I try to be the best mom I can, I also have to face the reality that likes to bite me in the ass every month – I have to pay my bills.  I don’t expose my kids to my job, they have no idea what I do at night after they are snug in their beds.  And I’m here when they need me.  So does that make me a bad mom?  Some might say yes, but then I would have to ask why?  I’m not scared of my sexuality and while I may engage in verbal fantasies where I do in fact claim to be a slut, that doesn’t actually make me one.  I provide a service for my clients.  I banish loneliness and inflate egos.  I have talked to clients that crave anonymity while they explore their fetishes and new found sexual needs and wants.  I provide something a stripper, porn star or nude model can’t.  An intimate human connection without attachment.   This sounds all nice and warm and fuzzy now, but don’t get me wrong, many of my clients have put me down for what I do.  The irony of coarse is that they are paying me to do it.  And I have had just as many clients truly appreciate my services complimenting me on my performance.  There is nothing more satisfying than to have a client tell me how incredibly sexy my voice is and thank me profusely for entertaining their fantasies.  So if there are so many good things about the adult industry, why the slut factor?  I think it has more to do with the women who are not included and feel threatened.  Women should be appreciated for what they truly are; the creator of life.  And all too often they are not.  Instead men in our society seek only the most ideal forms of femininity as put forth by glaring advertisements and Hollywood.  It’s not their fault, it’s what they have seen all their lives and respond to.  So is it any wonder that more than a few women feel threatened by the adult industry and pass the same bigotry to their daughters perpetuating a negative cycle and fear of sexuality?  I should know, I was one of them.  I thought that watching porn made you ‘dirty’ and wanting to enjoy sex was bad.  But like most women I entered my twenties with raging hormones and a zest for life.  Soon my inhibitions fell away and I reveled in the bloom of my youth and the power I had over the opposite sex.  A heady mix that easily matches the intoxication of alcohol.  However, unlike most women I did not settle into marriage and decide to put my sexuality in the closet after having children.  Oh, I did for a while, but when I became a PSO the layers I hid under soon started to peel away to show me that I could be a good wife and mother and still be a sexual being.  I can truly say that I enjoy who I am and am grateful to be able explore being a woman in all it’s forms both in my work and my personal life.  And I have no regrets for the choices I have made.  As far as the slut factor goes, as with most things ignorance breeds prejudice.  It’s a shame that women should be made to feel they are less for their sexuality.  We have struggled long and hard for equality and there rarely seems to be a balance that both sides can agree on.  A feminist is viewed as a cold bitch or you’ve got the Betty Crockers.  What’s wrong with being both?  Men have for decades ruled in board rooms and in the bedroom.  Why can’t we?  We are all sexual beings, without it there wouldn’t be a human race.  Of coarse there are women who match both descriptions, but there are more that fall somewhere in the middle; myself included.  I don’t think a woman should be put down for her choice of work.  Nor do I think a woman should feel guilty about choosing between staying home to raise her children or leave them  to work.  My job allows me to do both.  It’s not a career, far from it, but I get the best of both worlds.  I stopped trying to portray the most perfect picture I could of what a wife and mother should be.  First of all it gave me nothing but migraines to try and second, it’s a myth.  Leave perfection to give someone else a headache, I prefer to concentrate on what’s best for my family and what makes me happy.  If that makes me a slut, well then slap a scarlet letter on me and I’ll be proud to wear it!

Published in: on March 12, 2007 at 11:58 pm  Comments (2)  

Repeat Performance

Occasionally a client will call that makes a work night memorable.  Sometimes, the topic is beyond description and you count the seconds until the call ends.  Other times a client is both imaginative and seductive in ways that you could only dream of.  In one night I had both scenarios laid before me not once, not twice, but three times!  On this particular night I had created a new character and I was anxious to see how “she” would do.  My very first client had a very particular fantasy and he wanted a very “involved” participant.  After doing this for a few months I learned how to accommodate these realistic fantasies for my clients (including sound, time delays and props).  He had a fetish with nipple clamps and cock rings.  If you’re not familiar with these two items, I highly suggest you check it out for yourself.  You know what they say, ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’.  Sometimes a client will introduce a new toy/experience/fantasy that I may have written off as too out there for my tastes.  And if the call goes well, they may even convince me that the fetish in question really isn’t as out there as I originally thought.  This was one such call.  After describing for me his fantasy and talking me through my role we engaged in the full sensation and sexual talk expected for a call like this.  I was surprised to find myself turned on by this client!  I didn’t get off on the call, but it was very arousing.  However, in the world of phone sex, there is a certain amount of time for a call before it gets timed out.  This simply ensures that if a client falls asleep (and it does happen, but that’s for another time) the client won’t be charged for the entire night and the PSO isn’t stuck on the line listening to some client snoring for hours on end.  This particular client called back three times to complete his fantasy!  It’s not often that I get absorbed into a client’s fantasy, but this one really got me and it was truly a memorable experience.  I was only sorry to see it end.  To get a client that is both intelligent and has a great voice is a combination anyPSO loves.  I really enjoyed this one.  I don’t think I’ll be using cock rings and nipple clamps in my bedroom anytime soon, but this client definitely removed the freak out factor for me on these two toys.  And he taught me how I can engage these toys in future calls, a real plus.

On the flip side, sometimes you get the calls that you wish you didn’t.  The very same night I received a client I had dealt with in the past.  I haven’t had a single pleasant experience with this particular client.  He prefers the shock factor.  If it’s illegal, he’ll talk about it.  I’ve gotten used to what I call the shock cocks, clients that get off on making you squirm with discomfort.  Unfortunately for me I can’t just tell them their sick f!#*s and mute the call.  I’ve had to endure more than my share of shock cocks and each time it never fails to amaze me how gross they can get.  I don’t think they actually think about what they’re saying, or at least I hope not.  The idea of them actually fantasising about these things is enough to make my skin crawl.  I’ll spare you the details, but I’m sure you can imagine.  And whatever you can imagine, I’ve heard it.   If you are considering entering this line of work, be warned.  It can and does get really ugly!  It takes a tough skin to listen to some of these clients.  And a lot of fortitude to just let it go and move on to the next client.  There have been times that a client has so freaked me out I actually need to hang up for a while to regain my composure and keep from throwing up.  If I get a series of calls like that in one night, I will log off for the night and not take anymore calls.  That’s the beauty of this job.  There is no boss breathing down your neck to talk to some of these creeps.  You may have to deal with a call or two of shock cocks, but for the most part, you call the shots.  It’s kinda nice having that control over your own job, and you’re a little more apt to deal with the bad calls a little better.  However, this client wasn’t satisfied with one call, nope!  He called twice!  Just talking to this guy once was enough to creep me out, but when he called the second time I really just wanted to scream.  Hearing his spastic voice demand me to answer his questions (often referring to his mother) and hearing his excited breath in my ear soon became too much for me to handle.  I believe I’ve said this before, but it deserves repeating.  For those PSO’s that work the “no taboo” lines, you have my complete admiration.  I couldn’t do it.  I know I’ve said you have to develop a tough skin to take these calls, and you do.  But to have to take illegal calls… That’s completely beyond me.  Eventually this client did hang up, and I wasted no time disconnecting from the service.  I’d had enough for one night. 

On the bright side I keep hoping I’ll get a repeat performance from my first client, he was fun! 

Published in: on March 8, 2007 at 6:54 pm  Comments (1)  

Who’s Your Daddy?

Okay, this is one fetish I just can’t wrap my brain around, well not entirely.  And it’s also very hard to find where you cross the line from older man/younger woman to father/daughter.  I know, I know.  I can just hear all the responses I’ll get to that comment.  The truth is, it really is hard to tell.  This fetish can take one of two turns.  It can simply be an age difference where the male takes a dominant sexual role over a (much) younger woman, usually between the age of 18 and 21.  But sometimes it takes an illegal turn.  I was unfortunate enough to get a slippery client that changed his fantasy in the middle of the call.  It started innocently enough; the client referred to himself as an older man with a preference for younger women.  No big deal, I can do that.  It went something like this:

Him “So, how old are you?”

Me *giggle* “18,” *giggle*

Him “Mmm, I like ’em young.”

Me “Oh, you don’t sound that old to me…”

Him “Well, I’m 46.  I’m old enough to be your father.  Doesn’t that bother you?”

Me “No!  I like older men.”

You get the idea.  The conversation went back and forth for a minute or two and then turned steamy.  The client was most interested in how young he imagined my body looked against his and then he began with the “Who’s your Daddy?” comments.  Again, nothing unusual until halfway into the fantasy he asks, “You want to get in the shower with me?”  Before I can say anything in response he continues with, “Mommy will never know.”  Boing!  Up went the huge red flag.  Crap!  How do I get out of it now?  According to my contract it clearly states that I’m not allowed to participate in an illegal conversation.  Well, what have I been doing up to this point?!?  I later found out that if a client changes the topic to taboo, you don’t have to worry.  But you can’t use that excuse if you really don’t have a problem with taboo subjects or even encourage them.  Most companies record all the calls to protect both their clients and their employees.  So what did I do?  I pulled out of the conversation as much as possible and simply shut down on him.  Maybe I should have hit my mute button to simulate that I hung up on him, or stated quite clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with the conversation.  I let him do all the talking and just moaned or sighed whenever I thought it was appropriate.  You can hit the mute button; the client will just keep talking until they realize you’re not responding anymore.  Or you can say you are no longer comfortable with the fantasy.  In my experience, this seems to excite the client even more and they go out of their way to keep going.  It’s suddenly a reversal where they apologize for making you uncomfortable then go right back to the taboo topic.  I’m not writing this simply to freak anyone out, I’m telling you how to use it to your advantage.  After all, most PSOs get paid by the minute, and the more minutes, the better for you.  Once the conversation hits a point where you really can’t take it anymore just hit your mute button.  Usually, the client knows you’re still there, and then they get down right pissed.  Let the insults fly, and they will.  No matter how much you may want to, most contracts won’t allow you to insult a client unless it’s a specific request.  This is where most PSOs lose their nerve and decide they really can’t stick it out.  So what do I do?  Light a cigarette and let a few of my own insults fly.  Even though the client can’t hear me and I’m not being recorded it still makes me feel better.  It also helps if you realize that the client just sounds more like a whiny child than an adult.  Pretty soon they get tired of insulting you (or the air really) and they hang up.  Then it’s on to the next client, and hopefully a better conversation.

Published in: on February 12, 2007 at 6:23 pm  Comments (11)