Where Is She Now?

Almost a year after writing my last post my blog still has a draw. When I first started this I thought for sure I was just going to be writing for myself. Boy was I wrong! I have received so many comments and emails from experienced PSO’s and women looking to get into the business that looking back I’m glad I was able to share my experience with all of you. I wasn’t planning on doing a follow up, but I’ve been getting so many requests for reputable companies to work for I thought I’d post a few links.

The company I worked for was www.phoneactress.com. You’re paid on a scale depending on how long you keep a client talking, and it’s by contract so you’re independent. If you want to be more in control of your earnings, and get regular clients try www.niteflirt.com. I’ve heard positive things about it, but never got around to doing it myself. And the last company I can suggest is www.gaylestaffing.com. I’ve never worked for this company, but several women who have posted comments here have either applied with or worked for this company with good results.

If you would like to read other blogs similar to my own, and that may have better and more in depth advice, here’s what I’ve found:

-This gal’s been doing this a long time and knows what she’s talking about! Definitely a blog to check out for the potential PSO: http://operator15.blogspot.com/.

-An interesting and in depth account of a phone actress: http://talkingdirty.blogspot.com.

-Warning! This is not a blog that details the job, this a “working” site. I found this while working as a PSO and Abby’s site is one of the few tastefully done NiteFlirt websites I found. A good format to emulate if you want to go that route: http://www.lustinghearts.com.

-Well written blog by a former PSO: http://psoperator.wordpress.com.

If you know of any other reputable companies that you have worked for or blog worth reading, please post them here. The companies posted are for the U.S., please post reputable companies for the UK, Europe and Canada if you know of any.

As for what I’m doing now? Still working from home. I don’t think I have the stamina to return to the PSO arena anytime soon, but I’m thinking about it. If I do, I’ll let you know. Good luck to all and please share your experiences or links to your own blogs if you decide to start one. I’ll be checking back frequently, so keep those posts coming. Thanks!

Published in: on April 8, 2008 at 12:44 pm  Comments (8)  

End of the Line

This will be my last post.  Working as a Phone Actress has had it’s ups and downs and I was glad I had the chance to do it.  I learned a lot from this job about myself, our society and sex and about the adult industry.  However, all good things must come to an end.  Some clients made me laugh, some made me cry, quite a few pissed me off and even more turned me on.  And I’m grateful that I had a platform through which I could reach other people like myself to “tell it like it is”.  Before I started this job I scoured the internet for information on what this job was really all about with no success.  Hopefully, my experiences will help those who want to know more.  If you want more information about the company I worked with and how to get a job go to www.phoneactress.com.  For anyone thinking of becoming a PSO I have one last bit of advice, make sure your signifigant other is supportive.  Mine was and I was lucky, but that’s not always the case.  Good luck to everyone! 

Published in: on August 22, 2007 at 9:22 am  Comments (2)  

A Little Rusty

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I’m back now.  For a while anyway.  I renewed my contract and following my own advice, I started back slowly.  My first night on the phone can be summed up in one word: Bad!  It was a lot harder than I thought!  Most of my callers I couldn’t keep longer than two minutes and those I did keep didn’t last much longer.  I’d like to think I haven’t lost my touch, but apparently I’m a little rusty.  After being gone for so long I’ve lost my edge.  It’s not new so there’s no excitement of the unknown.  I’ve said all along that this job wasn’t easy, but this is by far the hardest challenge I’ve had to face.  It was exciting at first, then it became more of a curiosity and finally I hit a stride and I knew I did my job well and pleased my clients.  For the last couple of months I’ve spent my time being a “normal” stay-at-home-mom and I really like it.  Staying up all hours of the night trying to get those calls and then dragging my ass out of bed the next morning has put a dark shadow over my job and under my eyes.  I have always said this wasn’t a career for me, but it is a way to make money.  Now instead of perusing porn for new ideas I find myself dreading getting on the phone every night.  I’m hoping that as time passes I not only get better, but that I can also get past this phase.  Many PSOs have worked the lines much longer than I have, and most have been able to draw a clear line between who they are in the real world and who they are on the phone.  Right now my line’s a little smudged.  I’ll get back on track sooner or later, but even if I don’t, it’s been one hell of a ride.

Published in: on June 30, 2007 at 10:55 am  Comments (2)  

Getting Back on That Horse

Quick note: If you’ve been following my blog you may not have been able to gain access because it was suspended.  There was a mistake with administration and I’m obviously back up and running.  Nothing has been deleted or modified so feel free to read any and all posts you didn’t get a chance to before.

In my last post I said my family had gotten a new puppy.  Since she arrived I have worked a total of maybe two days in the last three weeks.  Yikes!  Amazingly, my contract is still good, but I’m having a hard time getting back to work.  Part of the reason I’m writing this is because, well, without taking new calls it’s hard to find new material.  The other reason, I’m tired and getting back to work is tough.  And I’m guessing I’m not alone in facing this dilemma.  Getting up at 6am with my kids and puppy and staying up until 3am taking calls is enough to wear anyone down, if it doesn’t kill them first.  But I’m not going to bore you with my mundane family life.  I’m trying to find the energy and will to get back up on that proverbial horse.  This isn’t simply a cold that knocked me on my ass or a reluctance to keep taking clients.  Life has just gone completely topsy-turvy and I can’t seem to find my footing.  Anyone with more willpower than myself wouldn’t have a hard time with this.  But I can’t speak for anyone else, and I’m not that perfect.  If I was, my husband might keel over from the shock alone!  Nope, I just can’t seem to cope with the changes.  Now I just need to figure out how to deal with it anyway.  I can’t nor do I want to stop working as a PSO.  I could easily use this as an excuse to get out of a job that wears down even the strongest, but I happen to like my job.  Gasp!  Yes, with all the degrading names, sick sexual perversions and erotic fantasies that would make even Larry Flynt squirm I still like what I do.  If you are a PSO who is dealing with a personal crisis right now (and that can be anything) but still want to get back to work this is for you.  For PSO’s who either can’t or don’t want to work anymore, well, there’s nothing wrong with that either.  Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you planned.  Okay, back on track here…  So how do you get back on that horse after getting thrown off?  Start small.  Get yourself back in the groove first.  It’s hard to go back to taking calls when you yourself probably haven’t even thought of sex in a while.  Purchase a porn magazine, watch a porn movie, scour the internet.  Start those naughty thoughts flowing again.  I usually do this on a weekly basis when I am on track just to keep my calls fresh.  It’s easy to lose that sexy edge when you haven’t used it in a while.  Next, don’t kill yourself trying to make up for lost time.  Give yourself permission to just let it go.  You may be tempted to force yourself to log in for three hours in one night, but your only going to lower the quality of your calls and frustrate yourself.  Believe me, I’ve done it more than once and pissed off more than a few clients.  Start by logging in for a half hour at a time.  If your calls are going well and your enjoying it, log in for another half hour.  You might find that you get tired more quickly and lose your patience easily if you force yourself.  When you start again after a temporary hiatus you’ll be surprised that you don’t have the same gumption that you did when you first started this job.  Of coarse, when you first started this job, you probably didn’t know what you were getting into and the novelty was keeping it fresh.  If you work for a good company, they’ll be forgiving and let you work at your own pace.  If they don’t, you need a new company.  Slowly work yourself up to your previous ability.  You might get back up and running quickly, or it may take a few weeks.  Either way, it’s okay.  This isn’t an easy job mentally and if you push too hard your going to resent the job and yourself.  If you get a bad call on your first night back, LET IT GO!  It’s nothing personal against you.  It takes a while to get back in the swing of things and it’s not unusual to lose your touch.  Eventually you’ll be back to normal and when those checks start rolling in you’ll feel a lot better and more confident.  Even the roughest toughest cowboys feel a sting when they get thrown off their saddles, that’s what makes it so hard to get back on.  Just for the record I’ve been thrown off a real horse, it’s a painful and scary experience.  But once you get back on and master it again, it’s so worth it!  So keep at it, you’ll do great, I promise.

Published in: on May 24, 2007 at 9:43 pm  Comments (2)  

When Life Gets in the Way

For anyone who follows this blog, I just want to let you know that I’m still here!  I’m still a PSO, but things have been a little chaotic in our home recently.  Sometimes things don’t go according to plan and that usually means a major interruption to the normal schedule.  We recently added a 16-week-old puppy to our family.  Boy what a change!  I feel like I have a new toddler in the house.  Normally I try to write about my job itself, but this has been such an upheavel that I thought it was worth noting.  Since our puppy arrived I have been exhausted by early morning walks, training, afternoon walks, vet visits, evening walks, keeping the puppy from chewing everything, late night walks….  You get the idea.  It occurred to me that there are many changes that could occur in our lives that would disrupt the job of a PSO.  Probably the most profound would be the birth of a baby, a move or a death.  There are no hard fast rules about when to take time off, how much time, if you need to start all over again, or if you even want to.  Most PSOs work according to their own schedule.  Only a few companies have a minimum requirement for the hours worked and most are pretty outrageous.  If I had to do this job 35-40 hours a week, I wouldn’t have lasted more than that first week.  So what do you do when life throws a curve ball your way?  In a normal job you either take some time off or you use your job as an escape from the stress that’s just landed in your lap, but this isn’t a normal job.  Whatever your dealing with is going to disrupt your personal schedule, stress you out in positive and/or negative ways and most likely leave you with little desire or energy to take calls from horny clients.  Take some time to sort yourself out, reestablish your personal routine and if you need to take more than a week off you need to realize that you will probably lose either your regular clients and/or contract with your company.  Don’t stress, you can always sign a new contract and letting your clients know that you will be unavailable for a period of time is okay.  I was surprised at how off-balance I was after getting our puppy.  I took a week off to catch up on some much needed sleep and reassess my schedule.  I didn’t think it would be such a big deal, so I can only imagine how a major stressful event might affect your job.  Many PSO’s decide not to return to their jobs either reaching their financial goals or simply don’t have the energy to continue.  And let’s face it, if you have a new baby who has the energy for anything?  The important thing to remember is that this is only a job, your life is way more important.  Make yourself a priority, don’t try to be Super Woman.  What real woman wants to attain fictional status created by a man anyway?  Enjoy life, you only get one chance.  The job will always be here when and if you want to get back to it.

Published in: on May 10, 2007 at 1:21 pm  Comments (3)  

Come Fantasize With Me

Last night I had some great clients!  But one really topped the charts.  He originally called and asked if I was a brat.  I’ve had these kind of clients before and they usually want a fantasy with financial domination.  Not hard to do, but it can exhaust the imagination.  After I assured him I was he asked if he could call me a slut or whore.  I’ve talked about this before, I really hate being called degrading names!  Somehow I managed to dissuade him and from there the fantasy took off.  I would demand something expensive in return for sexual favors and somehow it evolved into a Trophy Wife fantasy.  It really was a lot of fun.  I didn’t personally get turned on, but he did and I was having a blast fantasizing with him.  The more outrageous and expensive my requests, from bracelets to cars to a villa in Italy, the more turned on he became.  And after 40 minutes I had a very satisfied and happy client.  I love calls like that, it makes my job fun and easy.  I was lucky enough to get two more calls last night that left me feeling better about my job than I had in weeks.  One resulted in a job offer to bartend for a weekend for $1,000.00.  That particular client was entertained for over 30 minutes and no sex entered the conversation.  Naturally, I can’t take any job offers or meet with clients, nor would I.  However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered.  My second caller was extremely polite, fun and entertaining.  This time sex did not enter the conversation until the last five minutes.  These calls only go to show that most of the men who call are bored, lonely and yes, sometimes horny.  They can be fun too!  Not a bad night’s work.

Published in: on April 21, 2007 at 4:14 am  Comments (9)  

Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

I was watching a movie a few weeks ago that had a great line.  “Can a girl fall down a rabbit hole and emerge unchanged?”  We’ve all taken our tumbles down rabbit holes, and we all know the answer.  No, you can’t.  This has been a journey for me with more twists and turns than I could have imagined.  The end is not yet in sight, but I thought it would be a good idea to take a look at what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed.  Through my blog I’ve given a glimpse of what it’s like to be a Phone Actress.  I’ve tried to be as honest as possible, but I have shied away from what happens to the Phone Actress herself.  Before I started this job I was pretty much like everyone else.  I went to my 9 to 5 job Monday thru Friday filling my weekends with playdates, birthday parties and the occasional girl’s night out.  I had hopes and dreams for my future that slowly started to fade away as I realized I was already living my future.  I didn’t become a Phone Actress because I thought I could do something special with it, I started because I had to pay bills and I wanted a little extra income.  It just morphed into something special on it’s own.  I found that I still had opinions and that I deserved more than a lame job that wasn’t going anywhere.  Running parallel to my own personal discoveries, I was also exploring the myriad forms of sex and pleasure.  Compared to what I know now, I was pretty innocent before, and boring.  I’ve become more self-confident and independent.  And as many of my friends have pointed out, sexier.  Suddenly I see men in a totally different light.  And like those damn fluorescent lights in dressing rooms, it’s not the greatest.  As a woman I saw plenty of other women with that gleam in their eye or small smile that seemed to taunt and say ‘I know a secret’.  Suddenly, I have it too.  I wouldn’t have found it if I didn’t take that leap down the rabbit hole.  Having sexual confidence is something I never thought I could master, but this job taught me how.  As with any job, you take something away with you into your everyday life, and this is no different.  Knowing what to say and how to say it was always a challenge.  I didn’t have the confidence in myself to talk sexy and not sound like an idiot.  Being a PSO forced that out of me.  Learning what men desire has also been a huge plus for me as well.  While no two men are alike, most want the same thing.  And knowing what they want, how to tease and play with it…well, let’s just say it’s a real confidence booster.  I’ve also learned that women deserve more respect than they get.  This is the most difficult part of my job.  Hearing a man put me down and call me sexually degrading names is hard to stomach.  I’ve gotten plenty of clients who are kind and considerate.  I’ve even had clients that just want to talk.  When I get a client that just wants to call me a sl-t or a b–ch, I cringe.  I can’t help it.  It didn’t bother me too much at first, but as time passed I began to realize that this was how some men actually thought women should be treated.  My natural reaction was to get angry.  What right did these men have to put me down?!?  All the right in the world because they were paying for it.  I had to change my perception of these clients and just tune out what they were really saying.  Not an easy thing to do when you have to listen to the fantasy and participate.  I was able to change my attitude enough to realize that these men actually had to pay someone to listen to them be, well, assholes.  Something to think about.  I’m still falling down this rabbit hole, but when I emerge, I’ll have one hell of a story to tell.  

Published in: on April 18, 2007 at 2:29 am  Comments (1)  

Shaking a Stigma

I’m feeling a bit snappish today, so this post may seem bitchy to some.  That’s because it is.

There seem to be no end of parodies and articles that stomp all over Phone Sex Operator’s.  I’m going to attempt to counter some of the stigmas that PSO’s are labeled with.  Please keep in mind, I’m only one person, I can only answer for myself.

1. All Phone Actresses are dumb:   Um, no.  I love to read, write, listen to an eclectic array of music and I enjoy art, both contemporary and classical.  I have an interest in ancient and Medieval history.  I would love to travel the world, but for now I’m working on discovering my own country.  Since I spent about 78% of my paycheck on daycare when I was working a desk job, it didn’t make sense to continue if I could stay home with my kids.  Now that was dumb!

2. All Phone Sex Workers are Whores/Sluts/Prostitutes...:   Really?!?  Someone should warn my husband!  While working, I’ve been called many things, but I’m only acting.  This seems to escape everyone’s attention.  It seems that phone actresses are put down to make the author/creator feel better about themselves.  Why would they do that?  My guess is that for whatever reason they are either ashamed or pissed about their experience with the phone sex industry.  Fine, that’s their own cross to bare.  So I guess Julia Roberts really is a prostitute because she portrayed one in a movie once.  Someone should really tell her.

3. Phone Sex is Rip Off:   Maybe, but as long as there is a demand, there will always be a supply.  And any advertising executive could tell you; sex sells.  Besides, if my clients enjoy it, what’s the problem? 

4. Phone Sex Operators Have No Morals:  Again, I can only speak for myself.  I do a job, plain and simple.  Besides my job I raise two wonderful children, I am member of my church, I donate to my local fire and police departments.  I have volunteered at a local women’s shelter and soup kitchen.  I have donated food, time, money, clothes, toys, my hair (for children with cancer) and household goods to several charities.  I support the Wildlife Federation, my local ASPCA, Make a Wish Foundation, Locks of Love and Walk for Life.  I bake brownies, socialize with my friends and neighbors, get along well with my in-laws and am happily (and faithfully) married.  I teach my children manners (something many parents have forgotten), perseverance, self respect and confidence.  We have a family game night and the television is rarely on (I’m not even sure why I’m paying for cable).  I believe the most important thing I can pass on to my children is an education.  I encourage them to read and learn whatever their hearts desire.  I’m not perfect and neither is my family.  But morals?  I have those, thanks.

 5. Being a Phone Sex Operator is Disgusting:  I pulled this one from an article I read at this link: http://www.xomba.com/adult_phone_actress_is_now_on_my_resume.  Oddly enough, there was another article by the same author on a different website that read almost exactly the same.  You can read that one by following this link: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/129320/the_reality_of_being_an_adult_phone.html  In both articles the author had three days worth of experience, received -if she can be believed- the most outrageous caller and never spoke to another PSO.  Wow, now that’s some reliable research!  In both articles the author claimed to feel disgusting after doing this job.  But my favorite was when she claimed that it is not an “easily tolerable … job if you have any self respect.”  I’ve just got to get this out – what a bitch!  Personally, I think cleaning other people’s bathrooms is disgusting and I could never be a house-cleaner.  Maybe I should write an article bashing house-cleaners because I don’t like it even though I know nothing about the job.  I’m sure I’m qualified though, because I clean my own house.

Bottom line: If you have any qualms about being a Phone Actress/Actor – don’t do it.  If the thought of paying $2.99+ a minute makes you queasy, don’t call.  Any other problems – deal with it, you’ll survive.

Published in: on April 4, 2007 at 2:59 am  Comments (6)  

Sunny Side Up

In my last post I focused on the down side of being a phone sex operator.  That wasn’t really my intention, but as usual, my rants seem to find some sort of focus.  Never fails to amaze me.  There is a lighter side to this job, it’s not all bad.  If it was, I wouldn’t do it.  For one thing, there is very little to no stress involved.  Except when it comes to money, but that stresses everybody so that’s null n’ void here.  Setting my own hours has been a huge plus for me.  I have a life and I don’t like being at the the beck and call of a boss.  Then again, who does?  I also have kids and I like being home for them.  So if they get sick or have a day off from school I’m not using up vacation days and making requests to some asshole who doesn’t care that I have a family.  Wow!  I gotta tell you, that last sentence is very empowering.  I don’t have an asshole for a boss!  I think I’m feeling a natural high right now.  See I told you – no stress.  While the money I make is not great, it is easy.  It doesn’t take a genius to moan into the phone and tell a client how much you want to be banged by them.  At the same time it is challenging, and definitely not boring.  No two days are alike and no two clients are alike.  I personally hated doing the same job every day with absolutely no change in my routine what-so-ever.  Besides, getting that much needed kudos was nearly impossible.  No, it was impossible, that was why I quit.  I found more satisfaction in turning my clients on sexually.  There is your ego to consider.  While not all clients are respectful, or even decent, there are many who succumb to the charms of a sexually confident woman.  More often than not, I find my clients are thanking me for my services or telling me how incredible their orgasms were.  You can really hear the gratitude in their voices, and then you know it was a job well done.  There is no end to the creativity involved with this job.  From the more mundane issues of any job – trying to make more money – to using your imagination to create a fantasy.  I once read an article that said the most common male fantasy was the “Naughty Nurse”.  I’ve never once received a request for a nurse.  Besides, where would the challenge be?  I have to admit, that the most common request I get is to describe blow-jobs.  This isn’t really surprising if you think about it.  I’ve also learned that phone sex is not limited to the lonely male population either.  I have gotten calls from lesbians, gay men, transsexuals, couples and men on three-way.  There is nothing safer than phone sex to explore your most lurid fantasies without causing any undo damage to yourself or your relationship (assuming you have one).  Couples who want to explore including a third person in their sex, but aren’t really comfortable making it a reality, can use a PSO to make their fantasy much more realistic and satisfying.  And there is absolutely no judgement or messy emotional issues to deal with.  Once they hang up, they are back in their cozy and safe world knowing that they can add a kinky spark when they choose to.  Helping people explore their sexuality is also very satisfying.  I am not a professional equipped to handle the psychological impact of a sexual identity crisis, and I make that very clear to my clients.  But I am an open minded individual that won’t make a client feel guilty for exploring new avenues of their sexuality.  The most profound thing I’ve learned so far is how limited my own views on sex was before I became a PSO.  I no longer view porn as the enemy and I have a healthier outlook on my own sexuality.  I used to feel so threatened and angry if my husband used porn as an outlet for his release.  It took me a long time to learn that it only gives him a little variety and is not used to judge me against the perfect hard-bodies portrayed.  This job has also brought us a lot closer.   And rather than turn away disgusted when he would watch a porn, we now watch them together and find that sex has become more fun because of it.  We also talk openly about things we never would have before, from infidelity to hidden fantasies.  I never talked about my personal fantasies before, I thought it was wrong or would make him angry.  Boy was I wrong!  A lot of women seem to think that if a man is calling a phone sex line he must be unfaithful.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In my last post I said that I have received offers from clients that get too attached.  What I didn’t tell you was that every single one of those clients was not only unattached, but haven’t been able to find the partner they are desperately seeking.  Half of my clients are single, but just as many have girlfriends or wives who are not available.  Whether they are away on business, out for the night or simply sleeping, these men miss their partners.  I can’t begin to count how many times these men have described their partners to me and said how much they love and adore them.  But they’re horny and they can’t seem to get the satisfaction they crave.  So what do they do, they call me to talk about their wives!  More often than not I don’t have to say much.  The client just starts talking about their partner and soon he’s got a great fantasy to make his night.  There was another side to phone sex I never would have considered, I perform a civic duty.  With the war in Iraq, I have been getting many soldiers either just returning home or getting ready to leave.  They all have one thing in common, they want to get their mind off of it, even if it’s just for a few minutes.  I don’t want to know what they’re thinking about or what they’ve seen and they don’t want to talk about it.  CNN and numerous blogs answer any questions I might have in that regard.  They, like every other client, are seeking an escape from reality into a fantasy world where stress is left behind and sexual pleasure is the only concern.  It doesn’t hurt that I have a thing for men in uniforms either.  I talk to many people from many walks of life all over the country and they all want one thing, sexual satisfaction.  And I get to provide it on my own terms.  If I’m not comfortable with a particular fantasy or don’t know how a client wants me to perform a particular fetish, I just tell them.  That’s my right.  I may not be able to hang up on them, and there have been times I’ve wanted to, but I can set limits.  You want me to be the sexy babysitter?  Can do.  You want me to be sixteen?  Sorry Pal, not happening!  The power I get to exert is exhilarating and I’m only limited by my imagination.  Maybe it’s not the perfect job, but I could do worse, and I have.  Just like there are good days and there are bad; there is an upside and a down.  I hope I’ve illustrated them well.  Like I said, I’m not here to lure clients.  I’m here to tell it like it is.  You don’t like it – not my problem.  Was that harsh?  Maybe, but that’s the beauty of the blog.

Published in: on March 30, 2007 at 2:16 am  Comments (3)  

The Dark Side of Phone Sex

You know, ever since I stared working the phone sex lines everyone who knows about my job is intrigued by the taboo nature of my work.  There seems to be a mix of morbid fascination and sexual intrigue.  I’ve noticed there are a lot of books about the subject and very few seem to cover what everyone wants to know.  Who are the women on the other end of the line?  This is a tough question to answer.  It’s like asking ‘who is the average American?’  Really?!?!  Is it Bob, the mechanic trying to pay child support for three kids?  What about Maria, the Latin immigrant who wants to be a teacher?  Or maybe it’s John, the middle manager trying to save up for both college and a dream vacation with his wife of fifteen years.  You see; there is no such thing as the average American.  And there is no such thing as the average phone sex operator.  She could be a nineteen-year-old college student trying to earn some extra money.  A thirty-something stay-at-home mom trying to make ends meet.  Or he could be a twenty-something man trying to pay off debt.  Yes, there are male phone sex operators.  Or anything in between.  I can only speak for myself, and I don’t mind telling you that finding another experienced phone sex operator to trade notes with is like trying to find that one needle, only in about a hundred hay stacks.  The other problem is, no one really wants to hear about the nitty gritty of the industry.  It’s sex, and sex sells.  But everyone’s idea of sex is different.  Except for the pure physiology of putting object A into slot B (and that’s open to interpretation) there is really a lot that goes into sex.  And the intrigue is phenomenal.  The mystery surrounding phone sex amuses me really.  I mean, on the surface it’s very simple; a client calls to get off and the operator assists.  The reality is, it’s a messy business.  We’re humans, and as such we have emotions and emotions are messy.  It really is an art form to perform for clients and not create some kind of emotional attachment.  I have had clients that are so enamoured by my characters that they often ask to meet me.  I have been offered marriage, money, plane tickets, jewelry, shopping sprees and just about anything else you can imagine.  I’m not telling you this to toot my own horn, this is a reality.  It sounds great, right?  What woman doesn’t want to be offered these things?  Every time I talk to a client that enjoys my services too much, I feel guilty.  I shouldn’t, I mean they [should] know it’s a fantasy and they’re paying for that.  I don’t mind telling you that if I was single I may have been tempted enough to take a few of those offers.  And I have no doubt that there may have been phone sex operators who have.  A lot of people think that being a phone sex operator is a lucrative job, it’s not.  The pay sucks.  The average PSO only sees about 5-7% of the profit made on a call that costs $3.99/minute.  I once read an article that claimed the average PSO made $2000 per week!  Ironically, there was no evidence offered to back up that claim.  And by my calculations, a top performing PSO would have to take over 6500 minutes worth of talk time to make that kind of money, they would have to be talking almost 24 hours, a day seven days a week.  Not very realistic, is it?  However, if I could make that kind of money doing what I do, you can be damn sure I’d have found it by now and there would be a lot more phone sex operators.  What a phone actress/actor gets paid for is just that, to act.  You’re not getting the real deal.  We are exposed to the underbelly of sexual desires, and it’s not pretty.  It’s really hard to maintain a healthy outlook on sex while doing this job.  As a woman, I found myself becoming jaded and angry at men in general.  My husband bore the brunt of this.  I came to believe that men are hedonistic animals with no regard for women; treating them more like chattel than humans beings.  For a long time I was bitter and frigid to my husband thinking that when it comes to sex, all men are alike.  Only treating women with some degree of respect to get in their pants.  It felt like it took forever before I could realize that the act of sex itself is very animalistic, but that doesn’t mean it’s demeaning.  Yes, there are men who are sexual predators, seeking women for one-night stands.  On the flip side, there are just as many men, sometimes the very same predators, who want the companionship and trust of a meaningful relationship.  The havoc this job has played on me psychologically is astounding.  It’s not very surprising that the average PSO only lasts a few months.  I started this blog to tell women, like me, who are considering this line of work what this job is really like.  I am not here to romanticize the sex industry, there are more than enough web sites that do that.  I’m not doing this to lure clients, hell, I don’t even know what number my clients call to talk to me!  I have no idea what it’s like to be an exotic dancer, a porn-star or an escort, I’m a phone actress aka phone sex operator, and I write what I know.  In this post I’ve highlighted the downside of this job.  I know it appears to be a dark picture, but it’s real.  I’ve decided to make this a two-parter.  In my next post I’ll tell you about the upside, after all, there are two sides to every story, and this is no different.

Published in: on March 29, 2007 at 2:25 pm  Comments (103)